Do I belong?

Have you ever asked yourself...

Do I belong to this place?

Everyday,

I am surrounded by people who are sure of their drive

to achieve

they are such high-flyers

where instead i myself

am

not

I know this...

quite well.

I would love to be

an entrepreneur

because the thing is

I

hate

authority

I would love to be

a freelancer

because

I

get to

call my own shots

I wish my hubby could understand how I feel...

Sad, sad day...

My cat died today.

He wasn't really lovable in a sense that

he's not the type to crawl into your lap and demands your affection...

he's really fat,

(now i know why, he had a huge stone blocking up his urinary tract)

he loves to play but gets bored very easily

he loves to sleep with my maid...

according to her,

he's really good hygiene...

he'll always tell her when he needs to go to the loo...

i'm just sad to see him go..

we tried to feed him the past few days,

he didn't want to eat...

he didn't like the medicine...

he ends up throwing everything up

guess he was just tired...

he couldn't even swallow his medicine and water anymore...

sorry i gotta go...

i keep picturing him lying there as if he was just asleep...

kapul...

u grumpy old bastard...

we'll miss you

Sports fever...

For the past month I have had a lot of changes,

a work colleague of mine invited me along to go for sports...

I'm really bad at jogging as I will be trying to catch my breath when I'm trying to maintain a constant pace... The first week I did it... I got an excruciating back ache... but hopefully it will be better when I get used to it...

But lately, since we have a badminton tourney

for the celebration of our organisation's anniversary,

so yea we've been practicing a lot...

I feel more at home with this sport than any other...

I didn't get to play however,

but that's ok with me..

It's for the greater good...

But anyway,

the colleagues and friends have been noticing that I have gotten smaller...

my weight's not going down though...

I try not to be pissed off about it...

But it's just frustrating that my own family doesn't...

It's bad... Really bad..

It's not that I don't want my parents advice...

They just do not understand the freedom of choice...

And what do they mean they want me to be "perfect" for the wedding?

there is no such thing as a "perfect" human being...

it saddens me...

family should be the ones who give you unconditional love...

accepting you for who you are...

i don't know what to do anymore...

but i know i'll continue on the road of trying to be healthy...

exercising everyday when i can...

and hope for the best...

Missing Eross

On January 30,

a collegue of mine was posted to work in our London office...

We miss her terribly

and for the first month I kept sending her emails on updates on what we were doing...

I wasn't happy to learn that she was on her own...

without our company...

always busy with work...

Our Level 10 girls miss her the most I think...

she is the backbone of our group...

she makes us feel more grounded

especially when the newbies feel out of place...

Hey babe...

if you ever come across this...

I just wanna say I miss you leng...

You know when you ever need us

we're only one technological email,phone call away

Love ya...

Take care... Come back home soon...

Back from A Holiday

Many, many things to tell you.

First,
Just got back from a Holiday. Will post pics up soon

Second,
Wedding Update

• Holiday stuff:

Only bought material for baju nikah, ambil2an and 2 of my cincin setampik tangan. (I need 3 more), not a lot more to buy for his hantaran to me actually... it's just that my fiance needs buy (budget provided by me of course) the stuff for my hantaran to him.

• Wedding appointments:

1. Have appointment this Saturday at the wedding boutique. To decide colors, how many baju i want to rent, if i want to make my baju nikah and ambil2an over there as well.
2. Have already went to 2 makeup artists for trial. So far I haven't made up my mind yet on who is going to do my face for the BIG day. Need to make more appointments to trial them out as well.
   
3. Photographers have not yet been decided.
   

• Bedroom plans:

1. Paint: Decided on the colors already. It's left to the contractors now to buy the paint.
2. Bathroom: Bathtub is Signed, sealed and delivered. My bathroom tiles are on, bathtub and fixtures have not yet been installed.
3. Furniture: Layout is set. Furniture not yet bought, but I have bookmarked a few pieces, that if they have not been bought by someone else I'll buy in May or June.

• Weight Loss:

No dramatic changes here. Still lingering around the little 80s. But I went to the tailor last week to get my outfit for my friend and colleague's wedding... My measurements have gone down... Yay for me!

Enough updates...
I'll post my pics soon.

Spending Quality Time & Quiet Moments...

There are times I wished that,
selfish as I know I am,
I could have him all to myself and not share him with the rest of the world...

I like spending quality time with him...
Just the two of us...
Where we have quiet moments...
Knowing in the stillness of that moment,
no words have to be said...
It is understood that we were saying
"I am glad to be here with you, just the two of us"

You would think that him just coming over would be enough...
For me,
the answer would be no...
Watching TV just vegging out...
Whilst others are screaming for your attention...
Like my dad asking him if LIVERPOOL was playing that night...
My brother droning on about his marathon training...
My sister's MSN messenger pinging in the background...

You get the picture...
I do not call that QUALITY time...

It is times like shopping for groceries where it's just the both of us...
Him trying out his camera at different angles...
Trying to find the best angles to shoot his reluctant target...
Me trying to cook whilst I protest the ingredients he is putting into the pot without my consent...

I love my quiet moments...
We learn so much more about each other...
which is advisable when you are engaged anyway...

So...
A TOAST...
to
Quality Time...
&
Quiet Moments

Decorating a Room...

On Saturday,
before my Hari Kebangsaan practice...
My fiance and I went off to find paint so I sent off a message to my friends saying

"Dmana mmbli cat yg ada lots of variety?"

Imagine my confusion when Marya replied "meaning?"

When my colleague called me to say "Cat kan? Not kucing?"

Aiya!!!! I mean PAINT NOT KUCING... Pyh jua sms ani ah...

Okay, so my friends have recommended a few places where I can find paint with variety

1. the paint hardware store, right beside Elken at Batu Besurat complexes
2. the paint hardware store that sells Dulux and KCC paint at Jln Batu Besurat (where the complex is U-shaped and it's somewhere in the middle) if you do not mind spending money, and you need a special mix of color you can come here...
3. Chemiland... Sells Nippon paint... Love the range of color it provides (i think the one at Serusop is also Chemiland, but I went to Kiulap)

there's lots more but I'm too tired to find anymore...

Planning to look your best...

It is not easy to look your best for your day...

It involves a lot of work from yourself... and a bit of fairy dust from your fairy godmother...
i.e. your makeup artist...

Finding the right makeup artist is essential...

You have to test out everything like...

1. can they do hair as well as make-up...
2. will they be able to bring out your best features (pslnya ada yg pndai makeupkan urg lawa gnya or even worse, yg lawa pun buleh jdi bida!!!)
3. will they take the time to make sure that you look good
4. plus you have to decide if you mind having male makeup artist for your nikah (check with your parents and groom too k.)
   

so yes, a lot goes into planning to look your best...

a lot of exercise helps... because not only does it reduce stress, it also makes you fitter and we hope to God that make you lose weight and tone yourself... just remember to wash your face immediately after sweat dries, coz you do not want to get zits...

a bride is so high maintenance i know..
however,
"your wedding day is the first day of the rest of your life"
so it's better to start off right...

if you have curves,
embrace them...
don't stress over it... they are lovely...
if you are more stream-lined,
embrace the fact voluptuous women envy you for being able to look good in anything...
:)

Planning a Wedding dress...

Okay...

On Sunday, I went to this wedding boutique that lots of my friends have recommended to me...
It's not easy trying to find the best sort baju that fits well to a body that is particularly plus-sized, not that I'm ashamed of it, i love my curves...

Service: Very impressive...
The owner shoots straight... Will be honest with you about what color and cut suits you...
Applauds innovation... Is not afraid to use color... And there was this bride and groom who came before us, who said that we have come to the right place... You know that she is very passionate about her business... She makes sure that you will be satisfied because she herself will not be satisfied unless perfection is achieved... (pretty much why she is really sought after)...

So I have until end of February to find the right tone of color that I want for my wedding... But I think I have already found that color at that boutique... But I'll try...

*sigh... i love these moments where things fall into place*

Mark your calendars...

Mark your calendars peeps!!!!

29th November 2009 is my day....